I am trying really hard to let go of anxiety, and enjoy each day, each moment, of my pregnancy. For the most part, I am succeeding. But not always...
Though today is my anniversary, we celebrated on Sunday. Due to work and meetings, it will be 8 pm before we even see each other this evening. We drove to a nearby bigger city, had lunch at the restaurant where JP proposed, worked on our registry and Babies R Us, and did a little various shopping.
I set foot in Babies R Us, and by the time we got back to the registry deck, I was on the verge of a panic attack. What was I doing here? I don't belong here. I don't have any right to be doing a registry! My heart was pounding and I started to cry. JP did his best to reassure me, and as we started walking through the store with the little scanner gun, I relaxed a little bit. Then the increasingly daunting realization of how many things a baby needs, and my complete lack of knowledge kicked in and I tensed right back up. In the end, I'm much more comfortable adding things via the website, than I was there in person.
I threw a little more caution to the wind and ordered a crib and changing table yesterday. I felt a lot of anxiety, again, as I placed the order. A big part of me feels like I have no business doing that kind of thing, like I'm kidding myself or something. Another part is so excited, and can't wait til they get here! They should arrive on Thursday, if the tracking is telling me the truth.
At least this is all fodder for my next therapy session.