Monday, March 3, 2014


My body didn't want to wait until morning.  

I started having contractions on Sunday at about 3 pm.  They came every 2 to 5 minutes, for the rest of the day.  At 11:30 pm, my water broke.  About 45 minutes later, I started gushing blood.  JP drove me to the ER, arriving at about 1am.  Once registered, I was fairly quickly hooked up to an IV, had blood taken for testing, and given pain killers.

At 2 am, while the doctor was examining me, I passed (with assistance) my poor, so tiny baby, and other tissue.

Now I lay here in the uncomfortable hospital bed, waiting for the bleeding to slow, so we can go home.  The ER doctor feels the D&C is no longer necessary.

This sucks so much.  I feel so very empty.

Saturday, March 1, 2014

No Words

On Monday (2/24), I started spotting/light bleeding.

On Friday (2/28), an ultrasound showed that our baby's heart stopped at about 11 weeks.

I go in for a D&C bright and early on Monday morning.

"Devastated" doesn't quite cover how we're feeling.

Saturday, February 1, 2014

"Survivor's Guilt"

156 beats per minute, and still one of the most beautiful sounds in the world.  Little Bean is measuring 8w4d, which is about a week behind where I thought we should be.  I'm trying not to worry, though.

My sister is still struggling to get her cycle in line, let alone get pregnant.  I feel so guilty, even though I know she would be upset if she knew I felt that way.  Sigh.

Betty is doing spectacular.  She'll be walking anytime now, and her 1st birthday is less than 3 weeks away.  Goodness time flies!  I miss keeping up with you ladies.  So much.

Monday, November 11, 2013

Geez, I'm A Bad Blogger

I promise to TRY to get back to paying attention to this space very soon.  I'll need the support as we begin the journey of TTC #2.

In the meantime, my girl is 8.5 months old, and smart as a whip.  She's crawling, pulling up and standing as long as she has something to hang on to, saying "mama" and "dada", and so much more.  I don't know where the time goes.  She is the light and the love of my life.  More soon, I promise!

Monday, July 29, 2013

5 Months

In the blink of an eye, my baby is 5 months old.  I have no real excuse for not posting more often... other than my beautiful girl, moving, working two jobs, and whatnot.

We're all doing really well.  We started Miss Betty on solid food just a few days shy of 5 months.  She loves squash, and is less sure of carrots, but enjoys the process.  Next week is sweet potatoes.  She's babbling up a storm, but not real words or near-words yet.  I feel like she's trying really hard to crawl, but only manages to get her but up in to the air and her thumb in her mouth before she gives up.  She'll roll the length of the room if we don't stop her from doing so.  She's been sleeping through the night since a few days after we moved.  It's glorious.  She goes to bed between 8 and 9, and wakes up between 6 and 7.  She occasionally still wants a bottle somewhere in the middle, but rarely.  I love her more than I could ever express.

The one horribly hard hiccup in the last 2 months, is my puppies.  Once she started moving around a lot, we became very painfully aware that they weren't going to adjust to a tiny little moving person.  I don't think they'd have ever hurt her on purpose, but I wasn't willing to risk accidents.  I found a lovely couple that operate a little rescue on a 10 acre far, and she took them in.  It is the hardest decision I have EVER had to make, and the day we dropped them off was one of the very worst of my entire life.  The depression I experienced afterward has lessened, and every time I hold my girl I feel a little bit better.  I know it was the right thing to do, for her.

I apologize for the woefully short update, but I will try to post more often.  I'll leave you with some picture spam.

Riding in the big girl part of the stroller

Who doesn't love duckie pajamas?!

Worn out from too much 4th of July partying


Hanging out with daddy

Such a big girl!

Her first pontoon ride was met with mixed feelings...


Tuesday, June 4, 2013

Stressful Moving is Stressful

If I survive all of this, I am NEVER doing it again.  Saturday is the big (moving) day, as we start our new jobs on Monday.  We still don't know exactly where we're going to be living.  There's still SO much to do as far as packing.  We have no idea what's going on with selling our house.  It's just a gigantic mess.  One way or another, we'll survive!

In the meantime, my baby is starting to sit up on her own!  Who let her grow up so fast?!  I demand that person be fired!

Wednesday, May 22, 2013

Newborn Photo Shoot

We had the same girl that did our maternity session, come and do our newborn session.  Betty was 2 1/2 weeks old at the time.  We could NOT get her to go to sleep, so we could do any cute "sleepy baby" poses, but I didn't care.  I like that she's fairly alert.

Because I had to hound the photographer for 10 weeks, while emails, phone calls, and facebook messages were ignored and unanswered, she FINALLY sent me the digital copies of the pictures for no (extra) charge.

Without further ado, on my baby girls 13 week "birthday", here are her newborn shots!