IF just gave me a big kick in the face.
Before I explain, a little back story will be needed.
My husband (JP) and I own and run a hobby shop, most as a hobby, in our free-time. We have a bit of merchandise, but mostly we're here for our open play space, where we hold gaming groups, leagues, and tournaments. Games like Magic: the Gathering, Pokemon, and Dungeons & Dragons. Yes, we've very big nerds.
This also means that our customer base, a large percentage of which are also our close friends, are single men. We occasionally get some of the guys from the local university. Normally this means that I'm spared from pregnant women and kids, for which I am very thankful.
This evening, while registering for our regular Friday night tournament, one of the university students walks in after a year-long or so absence, followed by his wife/girlfriend, carrying their very young daughter. They sit down at one of the tables and get comfortable, so apparently they plan to stay the duration of the evening. They're no older than 20. I was upset, but holding it together. That is, until, the guy comments that she's pregnant with their 2nd. I had to get up and walk out of my shop. I didn't want these people to see my cry.
JP followed me and calmed me down, a process that also involved some homemade ice cream from the coffee shop across the street. Now I'm doing my best to ignore the sounds of the playing baby, and refusing to look in their direction.
I hate you IF, I hate you so much.
I hate, hate, hate days like that. It is so awful to know things like this can affect us so much. Logically we can look at these people and say that their success does not affect my outcome but at the end of the day it still hurts to know others get it so much easier.
ReplyDeleteI hope your tomorrow is a lot better.
I'm here from ICLW and because you posted on my blog yesterday. I just read through your blog! You've got quite a journey ahead of you but sound like you are making great progress so far. Looking forward to hearing the wonderful things that are coming your way.
ReplyDeleteWhat a lousy, lousy day. Sorry that it hit you so hard. The more you want to be pregnant, the more pregnant people you see. Sometimes I thought I was the only woman in my town who wasn't pregnant. Keep your chin up. Visiting from ICLW.
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